disregard that last post. you know, one of the major reasons why i stopped keeping a journal was because when i leafed back through the pages i realized how crazy shit is. i got tired of looking at my life going from fine to great to shitty to great to fine.
and it was silly that i stopped writing.
because that is just how this is going to be--life that is. we all keep waiting for everything to be okay. and you know what--it will never be okay. there will be good, even great times. but there are always going to be some lingering negatives. there will be speeding tickets and hangnails. there will be relationship problems and fair weather friends. we will have piles and piles of work to think about when we get home. laundry, garbage, lawns to mow. and that's not even the tough stuff.
when we were in high school our parents always said that those years would be the best of our lives. they were lying of course. but, the truth of that statement lies in the fact that we had no idea what we were in for. if they were going to be straight-up they would have said that it only got worse from there.
don't get me wrong, life isn't bad, that isn't what i mean to say. it's just that it isn't easy and it isn't okay. and it never will be. and we ride the ride because there's no way out. it's like being at the pinnacle of the roller coaster and knowing that you're about to drop hundreds of feet and not even being able to scream because of the fear of the thing. so we take our baggage and our doubts and our insecurities, and we plummet.
on that note, don't disregard that last post.
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