astro-golf

there are a few things standing between me and summer festivities. They are as follows:
*25 page paper on grapes for ecocriticism (i have 3 done)
*8 page paper on shakespeare (4 done)
*5 page paper for humanities (which was due last semester...yep)
*4 final exams
*moving all my earthly possessions
*cleaning cleaning cleaning
so here i am in the library thinking about all the things that i have to do in the next week. and i'm surprisingly not unhappy about having to do all of this. i'm not cranky because it means that its all over and i can relax, if only for a short period. however, i'm not really motivated either. probably because i'm still a little hungover. yesterday i vowed i would not kill my brain cells and then i immediately commenced doing just that. i am a real push-over, seriously.

oh, also on the list of things that need to be accomplished this week is going through the crap thats in storage and separating out what's mine from what's adam's. i really know how to have fun. it'll be weird, i think, to see all of those things that used to be so familiar now collecting dust in the recesses of a.c.o. but it'll be ok, i'm not really even that nostalgic for adam anymore which is amazing. the last time i saw him he told me that his leaving was perhaps the most detrimental thing he has ever done. it was funny because for so long that's all i wanted to hear. you know, that he was sorry and that he really did love me and that he made a mistake. but hearing them didn't make me feel anything. i suppose that's because whether or not it was said those things were always true.

i'm so ready to leave. i want to wrap up the past few years neatly and store them away and make room for new and better things. and that's what i am going to do, because i can. so much happened in my life in the years i've lived here. and i'm tired of looking at myself in this context. i want to be shiny and new. ooo shiny.