the circles that we move in

i had a better day today than i've had in over 2 weeks.

funny story, so immediately after i typed that all the smoke alarms went off in the house. no joke. and i'm too short to reach them on a chair.

aaanyways, i woke up really early this morning to drive back from Bonas. i watched the sunrise in the car. went to class. cleaned. did grocery shopping. did all my laundry. i was a really good girl today. and i wore a skirt too. even though there's a "wind warning". ha.

also i had to workshop the first 3 pages of my thesis today and i thought maybe my heart would burst. but it went well. it's funny because after 5 years of college i barely remember how to speak in my own voice when i'm writing something longer than a page or so. and it's because of school; all that "academic" writing i've done. now when i just write it takes me twice as long and i worry excessively over the cheesy factor. i'm not good with that kind of stuff, it really puts me off. i'm the same way with, say, any conversation having to do with relationships. i really like you is about where i cut off.

which is good. cause i'm only 22.

my only plans for the evening (outside of painting my now very pretty pretty fingernails thankyouverymuch) were to watch hell's kitchen. i feel a little sad that i am admitting that publically. but it's true. and i really enjoyed it to boot. this is the third season and i watched both of the two priors. i think i have a penchant for it because of the associations my mind makes while i watch it. it reminds me of my last apartment during summer (when it was the best, with all the doors open and the cats coming and going). and it reminds me of watching it with jill when she was in the hospital. i know that doesn't sound very fun, but you know what, it was somehow comforting to be there. with everything that had happened it seemed easier to be in the hospital where everything revolves around getting better and not what is going to inevitably occur once you leave that secure place. i also have an unnatural curiosity with hospital food. that is to say, i really like it (which is actually the curious part).

more tomorrow. now its time to eat cookie dough ice cream (which isn't going to be as tasty as it sounds because somebody ate all the cookie dough out of it before i had the chance--which is really irksome cause that's my strategy).