my, how you've changed

yesterday was a good day. there was barbeque, letchworth, genny cream ale, the office, cards, and good company. it all seems so simple. it was fun and it was easy. just like that.

sometimes i forget that fun can happen so easily. i think thats because i've had too little of it lately. i've decided that i like simple. everything has been so extremely complicated lately, with things at the house and with greg.

and with greg. this is an interesting one because i don't actually think things are complicated between us. i just think that he makes them complicated with his constant push and pull, his ups and downs. he keeps saying he just wants to "go with the wind". but he doesn't understand what that means. or maybe it's just a nice way to say "i'm too busy to be bothered by your company" and he isn't as great as i've made him out to be in my mind. in his last relationship he told his then girlfriend that he could see her one time a week. he always emphasized this when he told the story "one time". he'd even hold up his finger as if i needed a reaffirmation of what "one" means. and lately he's been too "busy" to see me...except for one day a week. even when he calls he needs to tell me how busy he is. i think this is a way to justify his poor behavior. but you know what, i'm not that girl. i'm not going to jump to see him once a week. i will not digress to that level. if he wants a girl who will fawn all over him and act like he's a prince (even when he clearly is not behaving like one), then i'm sure he will have no problem finding some pretty girl out there to do it for him. but that girl is not me. and thank god for that; i think it's called integrity.

i remembered something last night. i remembered that i am fun. that i am a good person to spend time with and people do actually want to spend time with me. so here's to good times with people that i love and who love me back (we have so much to look forward to).