this is not a joke, it's the funny thing about birds, again

the scary part about this whole blogging thing is that everyone gets to know how i am feeling. which means they know i can run hot and cold. which is true, i just usually like to monitor it in the public arena. the other scary thing about blogging is that this is my second one today, which means that perhaps i have replaced smoking with blogging. it's entirely possible. at least i'm not getting cancer from doing it.

so today in shakespeare my teacher (who is kind of known for being clumsy), tripped over something on the floor, threw his arm up in the air and then tried to correct his footing with his opposite foot. which tripped on the same object as the first one did, causing the other arm to go straight up in the air. and his face, oh god, his face. the fear in it. in that instant he realized not only that he was falling but that he was doing it in front of 30 undergrads. how wide his eyes were. he managed to correct the issue but not until after a loud yelp and some reddening of his face. now this is a problem for me because, as you can judge from my page, i have a real penchant for people falling. i mean i really love it, i just can't get enough. so when the professor stood up and made up excuses for tripping and the whole class was allowed to laugh, i did. and then after everyone stopped laughing, i continued to laugh. and then i actually went as far as to laugh harder. we are talking can't stop, turning red, trying to contain it and then bursting out sporadically kinds of laughter. and it just so happens that my teacher is the head of the english department too. which only makes it funnier. i'm even laughing right now just thinking about it.

i am going to take it as a sign. the point is this: every one of us is a fool. think about how mortifying it would have been for my professor if he had bit the dust in front of all his pupils. word would have spread around the department like a friggin tidal wave. his colleagues would have known before he could pick himself up. but goddamn it was funny. goddamn.

it was like the divine being saying stop taking yourself so seriously, it's going to be fine, and if it's not then at least it'll be funny.